I thought the warehouse was the worst part of the job, man was I wrong. Our store had a sizable kid's section, nothing compared to what Borders is doing today but big at the time. To promote the kid's section they decided to have a "Cat in the Hat day". See, we (as in "the entire Crown Books corporation") owned a Cat in the Hat costume. It was circulated around stores for events like this, who knows what parasites were living inside that costume.

When we unpacked the costume it was obvious you had to be over 6'2" and under 200lbs to fit inside it. I was boned.

Sure the outfit was unbearably hot but it was the head that was the physically painful part. It was a gigantic metal structure with a metal harness that went down your back. Your head was actually inside the neck, where the breathing hole was. So you were supporting this heavy structure with your neck and shoulders, this had to be an OSHA violation.

The day of the event was fairly miserable, several hours of kids pulling on the tail or attaching themselves to my leg. It took serious effort not to tip over with that massive head.

A few months later we did a second "Cat in the Hat day" and it was equally as miserable. So long screwy.