Introduction

This article is a follow-up to Closing Time: A Tribute to the Last Calls of Gaming. You probably should read that first, it's way more interesting than this. The original Closing Time showcases the last games released for 25+ popular game systems. This sequel looks the final games for roughly a dozen unpopular systems.

What's with the "Grif's Tavern" subtitle?

For reasons I can't recall now, I made a lot of analogies between the bar/nightclub scene and video game consoles in the original Closing Time. You know, comparing a hot new system to a trendy nightclub with patrons lined-up out the door until something even trendier comes along. Some bars were never trendy though, some were dives from day one. Maybe the owner didn't really know how to run a business, maybe they thought their success in one industry would translate to a different one, maybe the market just didn't need another watering hole. Video game consoles fail for these very same reasons (and a few more).

In my early 20s I spent too many weekends making the rounds of the local bar scene. It seems like we went to darn near every place within a 20-mile radius. One friend, who'll refer to as "Lefty", had an unexplainable affection for dumpy bars. He felt some masochist attraction that drove him to sample the most decrement, and often scary-looking, establishments The rest of us never understood why but went along with it from time to time. It was one such indulgence that introduced us to Grif's Tavern.

Grif's Tavern appeared to be a run-down house that was converted to a bar. I briefly pondered if the second floor had an apartment for rent and if so what type of transient would live there. We pulled into the gravelly parking lot and trudged our way in.

Once inside it was now obvious it was indeed a house with most of the walls knocked down. We passed through what used to be a foyer when we noticed something unusual... we were walking on dirt. Not "dirt" as in the "it was really filthy" but a dirt floor. This was not your average dirt floor though, they painted lines in the dirt to make it look like tiles. To this day I can't get the image of a painted dirt floor out of my head.

We walked a few more steps in and I spotted someone from high school who I didn't especially care to see again. He recognized me, kind of. "Hey Mike!" he bellowed with a wave. I responded with a nod and without saying a word we turned in unison and left Grif's Tavern. I drove by it some time later and it was converted to a Christan youth coffee house. I never let Lefty talk me into another of these barhopping experiments again.

These systems are the painted dirt floor of gaming systems. Before you start composing that hate mail let me just say that I own, and enjoy, a number of these systems. As someone who goes to classic gaming conventions whenever possible I respect that each of these systems has a loyal fan base today (OK, maybe not the Gizmondo).

Personally liking a system doesn't make it a success though. These systems all suffered from poor distribution, lousy game libraries, and/or short lifespans. I'm sure the handful of regulars at Grif's Tavern were sad to see it go too.

To give you an idea, the Virtual Boy was included in the original article. These are the systems even less successful than one warning it could cause eye damage to children. Paint the dirt all you want, it's still dirt.

As in the main Closing Time article, this is only addressing licensed American releases. Even these forgettable systems managed a few homebrews after their official demise. Same disclaimer about consoles having different lifespans in different countries. I'm not really interested in tracking down how every system did in every market. Maybe one day I'll write "Closing Time: International Edition" but I doubt it.

Now a lot of these systems are not especially well documented. For some systems I had to settle for "well, it was one of these three games", I'm always open to updating this as definitive sources are found. Overall, I'm confident in the accuracy of these selections.

Enough rambling, on to the games..