A nail salon moved into the store next to ours earlier in the year. The there was no ventilation system put in place to accommodate it though. Our store was soon regularly filled with noxious fumes that were strong enough to cause headaches and dizziness. Complaints were made to the mall management but nothing happened.
This summer is when My Loser Phase officially climaxed. The nail salon was the final missing piece of the loser puzzle. To make matters worse, I was in total denial about my situation. Maybe the inhalants damaged my brain, maybe rationalization truly is the strongest human impulse. Whatever it was, I was utterly convinced that my life was on track.
Some people see a movie that changes their life. Usually it's something like Schindler's List but for me it was Clerks. I rented it from the Blockbuster in the mall because I thought it was a comedy about working with the public. The couple of ads I saw made it appear that way at least. Yeah, the movie is very humorous but contains a weighty message about life.
I'll try to do this without spoiling the plot for those who haven't seen it.. the lead character is a twenty-nothing named Dante. He dropped out of college long ago and works at a convenience store. He labors under the illusion that his life is going great, that his job is important. By the end of the film Dante has a major epiphany where he finally comprehends exactly how pathetic his life is. This was like looking in a mirror for me. I realized that I was about 2-3 years away from turning into Dante and it was frightening. I knew I had to make some immediate changes and started planning what I needed to do.
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